Friends are the lego bricks of Disciplemaking

Friends are the building bricks of Disicplemaking.

Friends Are the LEGO Bricks of Disciplemaking

The Missing Ingredient in Much of Modern Disciplemaking

By Dave Garda

When my friends build with LEGO bricks, they can create almost anything.

Castles.

Spaceships.

Fire stations.

Entire cities.

The finished structures all look different. Just ask Jim Strecker or Rich Gamble.

But every creation depends on the same basic building blocks.

Remove the bricks and nothing else can be built.

I sometimes think disciplemaking works the same way.

Churches look different.

Ministries look different.

Small groups look different.

Bible studies look different.

Mission strategies look different.

But underneath almost every healthy disciplemaking movement I’ve ever seen, I’ve found the same building block:

Friendship.

Not programs.

Not curriculum.

Not events.

Friendship.

Friends are the LEGO bricks of disciplemaking.

A Question I Haven’t Forgotten

A few years ago, someone asked me a question I haven’t forgotten.

“Dave, what exactly is a disciplemaking friendship?”

At first I gave the kind of answer ministry people often give.

I talked about discipleship.

Spiritual growth.

Accountability.

Bible study.

Mission.

The Great Commission.

All true.

But later I realized I had missed the simplest part of the answer.

A disciplemaking friendship is a friendship.

That may sound obvious.

But I think we’ve made disciplemaking more complicated than Jesus did.

I Think We’ve Missed Something

When many people hear the word discipleship, they immediately think of programs.

Classes.

Curriculum.

Meetings.

Books.

Training systems.

And those things can be helpful.

But when I read the Gospels, I keep noticing something else.

Jesus spent a tremendous amount of time simply being with people.

Walking.

Talking.

Eating.

Traveling.

Listening.

Praying.

Laughing.

Teaching.

Serving.

Living life together.

His disciples didn’t merely attend His teaching sessions.

They shared His life.

And somewhere along the way I began wondering:

What if disciplemaking happens best in the context of friendship?

In fact, I wonder if one of the biggest challenges in modern disciplemaking is this:

Many people are trying to make disciples without first making friends.

Jesus did both.

He didn’t choose between friendship and disciplemaking.

He wove them together.

And I think that’s one of the most overlooked aspects of His ministry.

Jesus’ invitation was surprisingly relational:

“Come, follow me, and I will show you how to fish for people!” (Matthew 4:19, NLT)

Before there was a movement, there was an invitation.

Before there was multiplication, there was relationship.

Jesus didn’t hand His disciples a curriculum.

He invited them to walk with Him.

Jesus Called Them Friends

Near the end of His ministry Jesus said something remarkable:

“Now you are my friends.” (John 15:15, NLT)

Think about that.

The Son of God could have chosen many descriptions.

Followers.

Students.

Servants.

Disciples.

Yet He intentionally used the language of friendship.

Not because friendship replaced disciplemaking.

Because friendship became one of the primary environments where disciplemaking happened.

The disciples learned from Jesus because they were close enough to watch.

Close enough to ask questions.

Close enough to fail.

Close enough to be encouraged.

Close enough to grow.

Close enough to become more like Him.

More Than Hanging Out

A disciplemaking friendship is not simply two Christians spending time together.

Lots of friendships are enjoyable.

Lots of friendships are encouraging.

Lots of friendships are meaningful.

A disciplemaking friendship includes something more.

Both people are intentionally helping one another follow Jesus.

Not perfectly.

Not professionally.

Not as experts.

Simply as fellow travelers.

One friend helping another stay pointed toward God.

One friend helping another take the next step.

One friend helping another keep following Jesus.

Around Tables, Roads, and Everyday Life

One of the things I love most about the ministry of Jesus is how ordinary it often looks.

So much of the Gospel story happens around tables.

Along roads.

In homes.

On fishing boats.

At weddings.

In conversations.

In interruptions.

Jesus didn’t wait for perfect environments.

He brought the Kingdom into ordinary life.

And that’s exactly where disciplemaking friendships flourish.

Not only in church buildings.

Not only during meetings.

Not only during Bible studies.

But in the everyday moments where real life happens.

Four Arenas That Help Friendships Flourish

Over the years I’ve noticed that healthy disciplemaking friendships tend to spend time in four arenas.

Word

Friends open God’s Word together.

Not merely to gain information.

But to know God better and help one another follow Him.

Prayerfulness

Friends pray together.

They remind one another to depend upon God.

They learn to recognize His presence in everyday life.

Love

Friends serve one another.

Encourage one another.

Care for one another.

Love becomes visible through practical action.

Life

Friends share everyday life together.

Meals.

Conversations.

Celebrations.

Challenges.

Ordinary moments become opportunities for growth.

None of these are complicated.

Yet together they create space for remarkable transformation.

Not because a program is working.

Because God is working.

Why This Matters

Many believers want to make disciples.

That’s wonderful.

Jesus told us to.

But sometimes we begin with a method instead of a relationship.

A curriculum instead of a conversation.

A program instead of a friendship.

Jesus often started somewhere much simpler.

He invited people to walk with Him.

And over time, those relationships changed lives.

I think they still do.

A Few Questions

As I reflect on my own life, these questions keep returning:

• Who is helping me follow Jesus?

• Who am I helping follow Jesus?

• Which friendships in my life are helping me grow spiritually?

• Where am I intentionally sharing God’s Word, prayerfulness, love, and life with others?

Paul later used similar language when writing to the believers in Thessalonica:

“We loved you so much that we shared with you not only God’s Good News but our own lives, too.” (1 Thessalonians 2:8, NLT)

That’s disciplemaking friendship in a sentence.

The Gospel shared.

Life shared.

Friends helping friends follow Jesus.

Disciplemaking friendships are not a program.

They are not a curriculum.

They are not another ministry strategy.

They are the LEGO bricks.

The building blocks.

The ordinary pieces God uses to build extraordinary lives.

One friendship.

One conversation.

One shared journey at a time.

And when enough friendships begin helping one another follow Jesus, something remarkable happens.

Disciplemaking movements emerge.

Just like they did with Jesus.